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|he Walt Disney Corporation and New York City tourist board's worst nightmare, and a cause for celebration for the rest of us! This NYC-set sexclub slopathon from the sleazemeisters at MSR completely rocked me. Featuring a bevy of pigs (hot as shit pigs, mind you), the studio behind the now-classic Don't Ask, Don't Tell! have outdone themselves with this jaw-dropping, non-stop, wall-to-wall homage to Joe Gage's landmark pre-condom orgy classic Closed Set. |
A sure-fire nominee for Best All-Sex Video of 2001, I'm going to go out on a limb here by saying that not only does this loose remake live up to that standard, it may very well be one of the 10 best all-out orgy flicks ever made.
Filmed on location in New York at the El Mirage, theres no plot whatsoever. After some great establishing shots of NYC (hello Radio City!) the opening credits (which are a little lengthy, but important nonetheless) show a variety of guys looking for an address:
we see guys on the subway, leaving their apartments, jumping out of taxicabs, etc.
Next thing you know, were inside, and being treated to what turns out to be nearly two hours of roiling sex. Its all non-stop, with the cameras simply taking in what it can, and moving on to the next round. Theres no way to fully describe individual scenes (it would take two hours!), as the camera just keeps on moving all over, capturing everything thats going on in this basement whoreville. So Ill just give you some play-by-play.
To begin with, Gabriel Cortes (Fallen Angel III) is hands-down a nominee for sexpig of the year. Looking terrific (shaved head, pierced cock, killer abs), he gets the film off on a simple note as we see him taking a shower. Thats about the cleanest the guy gets in this flick, as he pops up seemingly in every scene thats taking place: in a sling, on the floor, taking his very breath from a filled glory hole, you name it - there he is!
Theres a terrific sequence involving Carlos Morales standing in front of a mirrored, double helping glory hole. Carlos writhes like a stuck pig, eyes rolling back in his head as he sits on the cocks poking through, alternating deep throating them. We even get a behind-the-wall shot of Gabriel and Chad (more on his monster in a minute) deep kissing and propping up against each other for support, all the while Carlos is gagging on the glamour.
Speaking of deep throating, theres one here thats award-worthy. Max Grand takes Chad Hunts ridiculously oversized portion of mancock all the way down to the pubes gagging all the way. Its totally awesome, and the director knew it: the scene replays several times in hilarious slo-mo action (guess he figured youd be doing it at home with your remote; he took the work out of it for ya how thoughtful!). Normally slo-mo works my last nerve; here it made me nearly come! From every angle we see Max taking Chads Grand, drool and all. DVD chapter alert!
One of the hottest fucks occurs when long-haired, Fu-Manchu-mustachioed, greasy-baseball-cap wearing Rick Allen (who looks like he stepped right off of a Gage set) gets a younger redheaded dude on the sofa, lays back, and proceeds to ram the redhead from behind. Reds is fucked while wearing his barely-removed jeans at first; in a few moments, someones helping hand removes his jeans, and exposes his jockstrap and a dirty hole! Yup, a full-on poopy hole alert. Yeah it skeeved me out, but it plays very naturally; any of you out there who have never had this happen to them before is a liar.
More grinding occurs, including blonde and buff Trey Rexx forcing his feed down and in any open orifice, sling fucks, cock slapping, facials, moaning and groaning galore, and so much more.
However heres the piece de resistance:
Throughout the flick I noticed guys wandering about with camcorders in hand. What I initially thought was an editing snafu (I shoulda known better!) lends itself to the years most inventive camera stunt. Mike Miller is receiving one helluva deep throating as the camera catches up with him. We intercut between the films actual cameraman (Jett Blakk, by the way) and footage of what Mike is taping (a P.O.V. overhead shot, looking down at the guy blowing him). Suddenly the screen splits in half, and we now see both images.
In the best use of split-screen technology since Sissy Spacek wreaked havoc on her prom in Carrie, as Mike begins to cum, his legs begin to shake, he starts moaning, and his camera goes nuts. The right hand side shows the cameramans angle, the left-hand side what Mike is seeing (and feeling, too: too bad this wasnt shot in Sensurround, as you can pratically feel Mikes orgasm). His huge load fire forth, and youll feel like youre right there, too. In Carrie it was pigs blood that was dropped; here its buckets of cum. I guarantee youll hit your rewind immediately: its funny, its hot, and its sure to get you off.
Piper Laurie, eat your heart out!
What I really liked best about this flick was it's simplicity; there's no pretense here of being anything other than what it is: a non-stop wall-to-wall orgy. The lighting is suitably moody, the pulsating (and initally annoying) music is kept way in the background, you can tell time and care went into the set design (it's probably the best this basement has ever looked), the guys were obviously having a blast (no eyeballing of the camera here), and the atmosphere is electric. Sure there are bigger budgeted flicks out there (while spare, this never feels cheaply done) and this ain't gonna cure cancer or bring about world peace. But for what it is, it's simply terrific.
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